Sunday, February 26, 2012

If I Only Had a Dream...wait. This is HUGE!

Last time on ...Still Got It...

Ha! Yeah right.
I may be the only one in this boat, but I hate it when TV shows do that. Who honestly wants to sit there for anywhere from 5-15 minutes just to see all the highlights from past episodes which they've already seen? Even if someone's coming into the show fresh, those recaps are wretched wastes of time, because they just end up spoiling what are otherwise amazing moments from episodes past!
Well no sir, not here. No stupid nonsensical blurbs about what you missed! If you want to know what you've missed, then damn it! Just go back and read it for yourself. You'll be glad you did!

Now before we get this puppy off to its long-awaited start, an apology. Becca brought to my attention that whilst reading episode one to [the apparently illiterate] Vance, he adamantly denied that he was cynical of my proposed virginity in any way. Vance, I believe what I meant to say was "skeptical," but as I think about it, you were completely bought into my claim from the start, and I appreciate it. So that being said, Vance, I apologize for implying that you were cynical or the revised skeptic, and I hope not only that you will forgive me, but also that you will take the time to read this and future episodes yourself instead of forcing your dear, sweet Rebecca to do it for you. Come man... this isn't the 60s anymore!

Alright. and we're off!

When I first brought to light the fact of my virginity, I'm sure many questions came to mind not the least of which was, "Well would you consider dating a non-virgin?" If that question didn't come to mind, though, I can't say that I blame you. After all, we virgins are such a rare breed that it almost has to be assumed that meeting others like me is near to impossible. In a word: true. And that should answer your question.

Not long ago (in fact, almost a year ago to the day), my answer would have been different, but back then I was still following the Christian way and hoping - even praying - for that one special girl who was 1) Christian, 2) attractive (even if just to me), 3) not a complete stick-in-the-mud, and 4) a virgin. I really didn't believe that to be a completely ridiculous list of requests, but as time went on I learned that my list of requirements was entirely too long based solely on #4. Christian and attractive: not difficult at all. Christian, attractive, and "not-stick-in-mud:" okay, you cut your numbers by around 50%, but still doable. Christian, attractive, and virgin, though (forget about sticks in mud), and you're looking at roughly one girl per American state (and chances are she's already engaged or at least spoken for).

Some of you may disagree with these statistics, but bear in mind that these aren't really statistics at all. I'm making it all up based on my personal experience and taste in the lady-folk. I'm sure more of you exist out there than I know about [and I would encourage you to leave your name and phone number in the comment section of this post], but for now I'm just going to continue with my post.

I tried the holy road, and it proved to be incredibly dull, so no, virginity is not a requirement of mine any longer. Furthermore, I believe wholeheartedly that were I to confine my search based on that requirement, there's a solid chance that I'd never find the girl I'm hoping for, and to that I say "boo!" Now if the girl I'm meant to love for life turns out to be a virgin, as well, mark my words I will run barefoot around the entire island of Maui for sheer elation, but if she's not, I will still do the same just because love transcends all the garbage.

"So then, Samuel, if she doesn't have to be a virgin, what exactly are you looking for?" The simplest list is comprised of two non-negotiables: 1) attractive [again, even if it's just to me] and 2) honest. You'd be surprised how difficult it is just to find those two items in one person, but that's it. And when I say 'attractive' please understand that I am by no means looking for a supermodel or society's accepted version of physical beauty, but I do need to be attracted to the woman to be my future wife. After all, no fiber in my being wants sex to be some kind of painful chore, and I don't think she'd want that either. Honesty is a bit more difficult, too, but it simply means that when she says something, her actions demonstrate her words regardless of whether or not someone's watching. Integrity is honesty in action if you ask me, and an honest person will speak the truth even if it hurts, because they love you and don't want to hurt you. Think about it...

One last thing, and this goes out to several people I know just as much as all the strangers out there who I hope to meet someday: as I talk about my virginity, I hope you're not getting the impression that I'm somehow better than everyone else. That's not what I'm saying at all, and I say this realizing full-well that many people don't consider themselves virgins anymore, because it was "stolen" or taken by force. Forgive me for being blunt here, but fuck that. Virginity is yours and yours alone, and it's so much more than "the first time," and you all need to know that. It's your choice who you give your virginity to; it's not something that's lost or taken. It's a connection that you establish with another person, and that connection lasts a lifetime regardless of how great or awful or mind-blowing or awkward the sex part of it was.

And I'm done preaching.

So yeah.
That's it guys.
That's all I'm looking for.
Probably doesn't seem like much, but that's really all there is to it.
So if you see that honest, dark-haired, bright-eyed, unequivocally charming, well-proportioned, spontaneous, romantic while not completely sappy, loyal, intelligent, fun-loving, SINGLE girl out there, point her in my direction!
Kidding... but seriously, if you see her...

Next Week on ..Still Got It: MAUI! Need I say more? Plus, I'll introduce the newest part of my blog wherein I challenge you, my faithful followers, on a weekly basis to some crazy task. Rewards will follow...

Episode 1 Poll Results:
2 Votes - True Love Mentality
1 Vote- The Unknown Factor
3 Votes - Other
In comments, let's hear what everyone guesses "The Unknown Factor" is! OnetwothreeGO!


  1. honest? dark-haired? bright-eyed? unequivocally charming? well-proportioned? spontaneous? romantic but not sappy? loyal? intelligent? fun-loving? my, that's awfully specific. but GUESS WHAT SAM. i've found someone who matches all that.
    you can find her at 196 pitman street, providence, ri.
    her name's joy.

    1. Yeah, she's pretty great.
      She's already stated that she won't marry me until she's 35 years old, though, and not a day earlier.
      Tough to argue with that! :p

  2. also: how can i guess what the unknown factor is if i don't know who voted for it? wouldn't it, by nature, be person-specific? UNFAIR, sam. unfair.

    1. You're supposed to guess what you think it might be.
      It's a game to spark conversation.
      I really didn't think it would be that complicated!

  3. Sam you have no problem dating a non virgin but do you find that ladies are cautious of dating you because you are a virgin, (especially if they have already done the deed and find it a necessary part of there life)??? Have you ever talked to a girl about this and hade a first hand perspective on this?

  4. Yes to all of the above.
    Each and every girl I've dated thusfar who has "done the deed" has been... dunno if 'cautious' is the word. apprehensive certainly cuts it. They've been afraid of taking things too far or doing something I'm not comfortable with, but being the honest person I am, we talk it out, and I explain very simply that if it gets to that point, I'll let them know. After that there have never been issues.
    Now I won't lie, a couple of those girls have NOT enjoyed not being able to have to sex, but having spoken with them about it (and the possibility of cutting out the physical aspects of a relationship), they express feelings of appreciation for my boundaries. They feel more respected, less pressured, and while it kind of drives them crazy (which is - I won't lie - a LOT of fun for me), the anticipation is... er... enjoyable.

    I'm very open and very honest in all of my relationships, and physical rules and/or limits is one of the first serious conversations I have with my significant other, because I realize full-well that it's no simple matter. I hope this answers your question, Becca.