Chances and Gardens: What incredible growth!

Anyone picked up on my theme yet? ;)

Well folks a solid week has passed, and alas, the count falls short at 11, and for this reason I am sad.
Sad? Really? Dramatic much? I'm sad, because I know for a fact that former co-workers Stu, Vanessa, and Kim and my cousin Stephanie all read my blog. Voila! 15! Not to mention the long-lost Vance who was one of the people who so strongly supported - nay, proposed! - the blog idea in the first place.

Oh well. Guess the videos will have to wait.
This week I'm going to preach a little bit. It's an episode that goes out to all you ladies out there who can't seem to figure out why they can't find a nice guy in the world. I'm not gonna lie: I know how to preach, but I'm not so great at stopping. You have my word, though: I will keep this as brief as I can.

Ladies.
Honestly.
What's the deal?
I hear over and over again one of two things:

1- All the guys I meet are assholes.
or...
2- It's so hard to find a good guy these days!

Line two is usually followed shortly thereafter by comments like, "Most of them are either taken already or outside my age limits." I'm not going to argue that point - I'll simply amend it: Many of them are taken and many others are outside your age limits. Most? No. Difficult to find? I suppose that depends on where you're looking and how open your eyes are.

Listen up opposite gender: we aren't that few and far between. In fact, I would wager that nice guys outnumber jackasses five to one in any given part of the world. We're respectful, polite, gentlemanly (key portion of that word being "...manly"), and some of us even know how to cook. Granted many of them probably won't be virgins like me, but I don't think that's something you should hold against them.

"So Samuel," [the collective female] you inquire, "if there really are nice guys out there, why can't I find any?"

I'm probably going to come across as an ass here, myself, but it must be said: ladies, it's your fault.
Now before you go tearing out my throat and spitting down the hole, please hear me out.
This past week while I was busy waiting for the number of followers to increase, I conducted a survey amongst women of dating age. My survey was comprised of one question and one question only, and any conversation held outside of that question was directed by the girl.

I asked women, "Have you ever been on a date with someone who you didn't think was worth your time or energy or maybe someone you weren't initially attracted to?" I may be a little biased here, but I think that's a very fair question, and it's yes or no, so answers came quickly and usually without hesitation. I didn't start asking this question until Thursday, so my sampling was limited, but of 25 women (youngest being 19 and eldest being 63), surprisingly each and every one of them answered, "Yes..."

Wait for it...

I would have no point if that's where the story ended... obviously.
In every circumstance, after the girl answered the question I said absolutely nothing in return. I simply allowed the silence to continue until she broke it. The girls could've talked about the weather, about fish (since many were asked while I was working), about Maui, about anything, but nope. 19 out of 25 women continued their answer with something along the lines of, "I did it, because I was being nice" to which my gut instinctively responds, "Oh... were you now?"

Read that statement two or three times and tell me how it's not dripping with conceit and judgement. You were being nice to the guy you didn't want to go out with in the first place even though you really didn't have a reason for not going out with him? You just didn't think he'd be worth it? How is that nice in any skewed version of the word? After the said 19 women continued their statement, I usually asked something like, "Did he know you were just being nice?" to which the response was always "no." And now we come to the heart of it: after that I asked each of those 19 women if they noticed anything different about their pity date and the dates they usually go on wherein they wanted to be with the guy. Results?

2 Couldn't remember the date at all (drunk)
2 Couldn't recall any differences
1 Never saw the guy again, because he figured it out halfway in
14 Enjoyed themselves more than they typically do
=19 Total

I suppose it's worth mentioning, too, that of those 14, five actually ended up marrying the guy whom they didn't believe would be worth their time. That being said, ladies, I know it's not the most fun in the world just waiting for the right guy to come along and sweep you off your feet, but you need to understand that loads of nice guys are alive and well out there, and - speaking from personal experience here - a good chunk of them are terrified to ask you out, because we know you don't think we're worth your time. All I'm saying is that wait might not be so long and difficult if you get out of your own way first. Try something new.

That being said, LOOK AT MY GARDEN!!

Here's the close-up.ish view.

Here's the plot. As of 11:00pm tonight, I lost count at 112 different shoots!

 Left: This is one of at least 3 hibiscus I'm nurturing back to health after being nearly destroyed.


Right: A beautiful aloe plant that was butchered by the landlord. I'm also working on nurturing it back to health.

This was a big surprise for me today. I woke up and as per the norm, I headed outside first-thing to water all my lovely plants and plant locations, and I found that ALL my morning glory sprouted 3" above ground overnight! Everything grows so effing quickly down here!

Yeah, I've definitely geeked out where my garden is concerned. I don't think I've gone a full 24 hours without planting something new! I've officially added rambutan, lemons, blood oranges, asian pears, jalapenos, habaneros, and star apples to the repertoire, and I can't wait for them to grow! I tell ya what... in three years or so, I'll never have to go grocery shopping again! (Oh, I also have plans to plant spinach and arugula, and I'm debating whether or not I should plant a cocoa tree... what do you think?)

This week's challenge: Hold a conversation (at least ten minutes long) with someone you wouldn't normally have talked to otherwise. Feel free to talk about anything you want, but you have to learn that person's name and be able to tell me where they're from (interpretation of "where they're from" is up to you). After the conversation, tell us about it and what you learned in a comment on this episode.

Well I think that's going to do it for this episode.

Next week on ...Still Got It: Video blog for sure... vlog? What a stupid word. There are cool word hybrids and lame word hybrids: Vlog is a lame word hybrid. I only have one day off this week, so it may be short and pointless, but it'll be video for sure!

Dis place lazy, brah... make tings hard.

I'm continually impressed by how beautiful this place is.
Yes, I know you're tired of hearing it. I don't talk about much else, but think about it: if you were living your dream, what would you talk about?
The last couple of nights the skies have been crystalline, and the stars have shown through like I don't even know how to describe. So many times on my short bike-rides home from work I've wished for a camera powerful enough to capture the luminous.ness of the clear night sky here, but alas... I have only my trusty point-and-shoot (which I care for very very much, thank you, so don't go getting any funny ideas you homewrecking sluts!). *Ahem.*

So to begin this, episode number four, last week I challenged you to take a picture of the place in which you live and send it to me. The picture was a way of encouraging you to find the beauty in your home regardless of whether or not you like it there, because as great as Maui (and Hawaii in general) is, every location on this planet carries with it some sort of aesthetic or sentimental beauty. Since I talk about Hawaii all the time, I figured I'd give you guys the chance to prove your own case.
This week's winner: yup, my mom. This was her submission.

Now this announcement may come as a bit of a shock to some of you - especially those of you who know me well. Ask anyone and they'll tell you: I hate Iowa. My mom took a picture of Iowa, though, and it just so happened to be the winner, and here's why: First off, check out the picture's composition. Though fuzzy (which will be attributed to my mom's unsteady hand and even less steady phone), it's very well balanced, and she was onto a great idea framing the city-scape with the bridge's contours. On top of that, the lighting in the picture really make it evident that you're looking at a bridge suspended over water with the Des Moines skyline in the back.

Unfortunately my mother provided no summary as to what she finds beautiful of this particular part of Des Moines, and being the sort of person who physically cannot stand the sight of Iowa, I'm not about to put words in her mouth, but again, comparing picture to picture, I think this one was best. If you see her or talk to her, make sure you give my momma a high-five for being the first ever weekly challenge winner on ...Still Got It.

Onward to challenge #2- This week it is your job as a collective of followers to find my blog seven more followers. This will put the total to 15. Do this, and next week's post will be all video. I'll record my route to the store where I work, I'll take you to the beach, or I'll clean between my toes. It's pretty much your call what I do (*hint* leave what you want me to do in a comment *hint*), but it's 15 followers or nothing. Go team go!

Let's move on to the poll, shall we?

Last week the question I presented was "Which is more attractive?" Only three answers? Come on guys. Where's the love? Where's the support? Where's the one second it would've taken you to click a mouse? Disappointing. Anyway, 2 out of 3 said they'd go for the person with nothing but confidence while only 1 out of 3 said they'd go for the person with everything but confidence. I side with the one out of three, and that's all I'm going to say about that.

Ps. Answer this week's poll, and maybe next week I'll elaborate some more. (:

At last we have come to the crux of this week's episode. Getting married is something I'd like to do in the future. I'm not going to say I'm holding out for 37 years old, but I'm not going to say I'm not. I am saying, though, that moving to Maui may only have made being single that much easier for me, because I tell you what, brah... people here are lazy, and because so many of them are so lazy, so many of them are so far beyond unattractive that I'm somewhat dumbfounded that the Hawaiian culture is still alive. Honestly. I'm not even being mean here. These are all things I was told by locals who live on the island still. And to make matters worse, the vast majority of the attractive girls here are married, spoken for, or on vacation. What should I do about that? I'm kind of at a loss.

I'm not in any hurry or anything, so don't take it that way, but then again, I'm coming up on 27 here, ya know? Gotta find someone sometime here, or let's face it: it just might not happen. Man... no wife. No kids. No sex for Samuel ever?! I should look up how old the oldest living virgin is. Maybe not. o_o What if his name is Samuel, too?! That'd be creepy...

I should stop talking.

I need to eat something.

Oh hey! Speaking of eating: I planted my garden! I'ma try my hand at a polyculture gardening method. Long story short: polyculture gardening is a method that mimics plant growth in the wild. Plants of various heights, types, and flowering times are all planted together in such a way that each species benefits at least one other species in the same garden. It's very complex but very interesting. Look it up if you want! In the meantime, here are some pictures of my backyard plot - expect to see updated pictures in the future.

So yup. This is the lower half of my backyard. To the right is the upper half where my plot is.

And yes, that's a mango tree on the right. Three weeks and we'll have all the mangoes we could ever need!

Here's the plot. It's roughly 6' x 4' and it's right up against the back property line.

If all goes well, this plot will be growing corn, carrots, tomatoes, peppers (bell and spicy), yellow onions, green onions, basil, cilantro, oregano, parsley, sunflowers... and there's more, but I can't think of what.

Yes indeed. My own corner of the world.

Hahaha hopefully something other than weeds grow in back there!

I'll keep ya posted. Believe it!

Next time on ...Still Got It: Well I guess what's on ...Still Got It next week is up to you guys, yeah? 15 followers - don't forget. Fifteen followers by Wednesday and I may throw in a fun little bonus for the original ten, too. That means that you, mom, and you, Vance, had better get to publicly following.

Destination: Maui - Short and Sweet!

It would seem as if the majority of my posts are now started with an apology.

I'll have to fix that soon.

To start this one, I apologize to all of you who tuned in last weekend to find nothing new or interesting to read. My excuses are plenty, and those excuses are legit, too, but I apologize regardless. I, for one, know what it's like to be excited about something and then to be there at the scheduled time to find an utter nothingness. 

I also want to send out an apology for this post. It's nothing like what I'd hoped for it. The weather's not been amazing lately (welcome to rainy season), and with so much focus going toward reestablishing myself as a human being in this new world of mine, The pictures I have to share with you are... er... lackluster.

That being said, here goes nothing! Just flip through the pictures and grab the captions; it's really the only way to go.

Austin Int'l Airport - poorly designed parking, and doesn't open until 4am.

6 out of 10 stars.

I literally ran through Houston, so no pictures there.

Not a big loss by my estimate.  5 out of 10 stars.

More or less my home for the day.

I did happen upon, though, an epiphany:

Heaven and Hell truly do exist: Heaven is paradise, or in my case, Maui, and Hell is the line you have to wait in to get on the effing plane which takes you there.

Denver Int'l Airport - easily one of my favorites. Well laid out, well lit, mechanized walkways throughout.

7 out of 10 stars.

The only thing other than a 5-day-old cup of fruit which I, a vegan, could find to eat.

Liquid Jolly Ranchers complete with the sugar content.

Jamba Juice - 3 out of 10 stars.

SUPER.cramped plane.

This was the most legroom I had the entire trip.

Even better was the flight attendant who asked me to pull my legs in from the aisle because people needed to walk by without being tripped (something which happened only to her).

Took me a second to figure out why I took this picture.

Then I remembered: the screens they showed the in-flight movies on were each different colors.

There were five in our cabin area and another 8 up toward the front of the plane.

These two shots are from Kihei, the city on the southern bay of Maui.

LOOKIT!

The curvature of the earth!

In the southern distance is the island Kahoolawe.

Pictured below as well.

A couple guys were fishing on the beach.

I tried talking to them, but they weren't interested in conversation.

I left. Bad vibes.

Who can NOT take a picture of Hawaiian palms?

All flowers from my walk.

These were only a few varieties of the hundreds of different flowers that lined my beach.walk path.

Truth be told, I forgot how much I love Hawaii.

For some of you this may be difficult to accept. It goes without saying that the people I worked with in Austin were no-doubt glad to see me go, just because they were sick and tired of hearing me talk about the place! Feel free to back me up on that, Becca!

I stepped off the plane, and the first thing I noticed was that I didn't feel like I'd stepped back inside. Hawaiian airports are "outside" in that the buildings aren't enclosed. At once I felt a rush of warm, ocean-scented air fall over me, I could smell flowers and tropical fruits everywhere, and instead of a bunch of people grumpy for sitting on a plane for 7-8 hours before, I heard nothing but "oos" and "ahs" from everyone arriving on the island for the first time. Birds flew around between the canopy rafters, sun streaked through the ceiling gaps, and at once everything felt right with the world.

I love this place.

Even though it's different from Oahu and this is actually my first time spending any real amount of time in Maui, I'm so glad it was in the cards for me. City life is not my best friend. Austin was nice in that it was different from Iowa, and I desperately needed different from Iowa. But Maui's what I was looking for, and I can't wait to show you guys why.

After a day, it started raining, which apparently isn't that frequent where I was staying at the time. I couldn't help but think, "It's raining, and that's okay; this is the islands way of cleansing me from the garbage I dealt with before I arrived." Sounds cheesy, I suppose, but that's what I kept thinking over and over again. This place is special, and I feel like I'm only just now beginning to see the whys and hows.

I've got my place all situated now, the bamboo's on order (yes, I use bamboo for making many things - you'll see), and we'll be off to a running start in no time.

Feels a bit like I'm rambling now, so I'll make this my almost.ending. Remember how a couple weeks back I mentioned that I'd be introducing the newest part of my blog? Yup. This week, my faithful followers, I challenge you to take a picture of wherever you live. This picture should capture some kind of beauty inherent in the place you live. Once said picture is taken, email it to me at jacksdemise@gmail.com and if chosen, I'll post it in next week's blog along with a blurb from the winner regarding the things you appreciate most about where you live.

And I'm done.

Oh! Duh... commenting sparks: I want to hear some challenges from you folks. Since I'm way out in Maui, what do you think I should do which I might not have done otherwise? Dare me to do something fun... except for you, Joy. You don't get to play. I already know you want me to dive with the whales and dolphins, but it's not happening. Silly fragile human.

Next time on ...Still Got It: The Hawaiian people and the challenge from Gramma. I'll go into detail about the people who live on and come from the islands and why that will help me to keep on the straight and narrow. Becca, you have no idea how easy this is going to be. Just sayin.